As we wrap up our decluttering challenge (can you believe it?!), I want to talk about something more personal than physical clutter – and that’s heart clutter.
Welcome to the 30 Days to Less of a Hot Mess Challenge! We’re decluttering, reorganizing and taking a fresh breath of air to create a home we love. If this is your first time joining the challenge, you may want to start here at the beginning. Affiliate links used for your convenience.
You know what I mean, right? When the heart is running on empty because there’s so much mess going on. So many dings, pings and demands. Not enough soul-filling activity and too much just-because busyness. Physical clutter doesn’t help either. It can be a lot to handle sometimes.
In a world that seems to be speeding down the crazy train at full throttle, it can be hard to declutter not only our physical spaces but our hearts too. As much as I love a clean, decluttered space, I love a decluttered heart even more. They go hand in hand and mirror each other, for sure!
The truth is that physical clutter (and disorganization) leads to mental and emotional clutter. It’s a vicious cycle, but one that can be broken!
I’m sitting here as the chief offender in this arena, because I’ve had a cluttered mind, cluttered emotions, a cluttered home and a cluttered schedule for years. It’s only in the past one to two years that I’ve started to dig deep and do the hard work of clearing out the unsightly excess in my heart and my home.
Let’s face it – the baby years are just crazy. Part of my physical and emotional clutter problem was that I was simply trying to keep my head above water. I was focused on keeping my kids safe and fed and on taking a shower every 3 days. Gross, I know. But that’s the honest truth. Now that I’m coming out of the baby fog and into the elementary years, I’ve had more time to devote to getting some of my heart back.
If you’re in the thick of the baby, toddler or little kid season, go ahead and make yourself some coffee, sit back and enjoy the mess. It will be around for a while. I talk about cleaning up and organizing toys, and those systems are in place. But if you walked into my home at any given moment, there’s a 97% chance toys would be scattered everywhere. And the second you sweep the kitchen floor, someone will spill Cheerios all over it. It’s a rule somewhere, I think. Embrace the chaos. It is a season that will not last forever.
But even when my house is still messy and far from perfect, I need to take time to get my heart in a good place. And a lot of the time, when I do that, the clutter and mess become easier to manage. Funny how that works!
So, let’s talk about the work of having a decluttered heart and mind. For me, it happens when I remove distractions, simplify my daily to-dos and say yes to what matters most. Let’s look at how a decluttered heart works in practice.
5 Practical Tips for a Decluttered Heart
1. Step Away from the Social Media Crazy Train. Yep, I said it. If you’re reading this after I posted it in February 2017, you’ll know social media, especially Facebook, has hit an all-time low. People be trippin’. I hope Facebook returns to being a warm, kind place for everyone, but until then I’ve adopted a little rule for my own heart and mind. Unfollow the Negative Nancies! You don’t have to delete them (though you can), but if you get a knot in your stomach whenever a certain person’s name pops up on your timeline, unfollow, my friend! Negative talk only breeds anxiety. And for goodness’ sake, don’t engage with that Negative Nancy. It’s a recipe for disaster!
2. Set the Phone Down. I bought the very first iPhone when they came out. I love, love, love the freedom it gives me to work anywhere, anytime, and to stay connected to my people. But I also know it can try to reshuffle what’s truly important to me. For example, is this phone call, text message or app reminder really so urgent that it needs to interrupt my family’s dinner? I recently switched off all notifications except my important calendar alerts, and it has been blissful! I’m no longer bombarded with pinging and dinging all day. I also put it away during special family moments (always during a meal) so I won’t be tempted to even glance at it.
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3. Make a Gratitude List. Nothing clears my heart and mind like sitting down and writing out everything I’m thankful for. I don’t mean a mental list. Actually write it down, then tape it up where you can see it. Try it! You’ll be surprised how much your heart shifts in the process.
4. Schedule Some Quiet Time. I’m preaching to the choir here, but this goes hand in hand with creating margin, which I talked about the other day. Creating margin is good, but what are you filling it with? Scrolling through Facebook? I’m trying to be more intentional about penciling in some quiet time. During that time I journal, read my Bible, do some stretching or light yoga, listen to a motivating podcast, or take a bath with a good book. These soul-giving activities are what give me life and let me pour into other people’s lives instead of just drowning in my own chaos. My goal these days is to go to bed early (for me that’s 11 pm), no matter what’s on my to-do list. Then I get up at 5:30 and have an hour before I need to wake my daughter for school. That gives me an hour of uninterrupted time to quietly do something that feeds my soul. Sometimes I need to work during that time, but I try to get in at least 15 minutes of Quiet Time.
5. Serve Someone Else. I find that I’m most cluttered in heart and life when I think I’m the most important person in the world. I’m obsessed with my to-do list and cramming everything into my schedule. It’s so refreshing to look up from my planner and see what’s going on in someone else’s world. It gives me a fresh perspective, and the unnecessary chatter just fades away. My husband is great at spotting the needs around him and always wants to give and help others. He leads the way for our family in meeting those needs. (My job is to manage the accounts so our helping doesn’t land us on the streets. ) I personally like to send encouraging notes and texts to let people know I’m thinking of them. It reminds me what matters: people, not the calendar.
I feel like I’ve just taken in a breath of fresh air by writing all of that down. Ha! It’s amazing how slowing down, cutting out the noise and focusing on what matters most clears away the chaos in your heart and mind. Then you’ll be ready to return to managing the physical clutter, creating an action plan for it and organizing it!
I have loved this journey over the past 30 days. Remember that it’s a journey, and perfection is not the goal! Our goal is to live purposeful, intentional lives with our priorities in order. Getting rid of clutter helps us focus on what is truly important! It gives us our time back to spend on our community and the people we love.
The Messy Work: Turn off your phone notifications and write a gratitude list. Tape it up where you can see it for the next few days. Then pencil in some quiet time for yourself. It may be hard to find, but it will be worth the effort, I promise!
Messily yours, Laura
